Today I want you to think about all that you are instead of all that you are not.-Unknown

 Today I’d like to talk about being kind to yourself. Just like how charity begins at home, so does kindness. It has to begin with being your own best friend. This is not an easy thing to do. We are consistently hard on ourselves and giving ourselves negative messages. Consider how many times in a day you might say or think “I am not (fill in the blank) enough” or “If only (again fill in the blank) was different, then I would be different” If we are not living up to our “ideal” in life, we find ourselves lacking and thus the negative cycle continues. Just think of how much time and energy we spend on this. So how do we break out of this  and start being kind to ourselves?

It is interesting that many people find it easy to be friends with others but not so friendly with themselves. Think of someone you are friends with. When you like someone, you want to spend time with them. You might call or text or share something silly. You might plan outings and meals or just a quiet night in watching Netflix. You know that this friend is someone you can count on, someone who gets you, someone who shares your views and experiences, and someone who you can just be yourself with no judgement. Do you accept yourself like this?

It’s pretty easy to go down the negative thoughts road, mainly because we have been programmed since childhood about what we should look like, feel, say, think and do. It’s not easy to navigate though that programming. Many times that negativity resurfaces as our “go to” response. It takes a concentrated effort to reprogram ourselves.

We can’t change what has already been programmed into us but we can reframe it. We can question whether or not these criticisms are in fact real, or someone else’s critical judgement (and usually wrong) perceptions about what we should be. We can ask ourselves when we are in a self-destruct mode if what we are thinking is actually true or what someone told us to be true. Reinforce by adding an affirmation such as “That’s someone else talking. It’s not true”.

Be your own best friend and be kind to yourself.

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